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When A Guest Dines Alone

With 78% of customers, trusting online peer recommendations, that means guests have the power to persuade others.  I can't stress this point strongly enough.  When a customer receives outstanding customer service, they promote the restaurant, which directly impacts bottom line.

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Many guests who dine alone complain of being  treated badly by restaurant seating staff and servers. They lament in being greeted with, "Will you be eating alone?", or "Just one?", if they are dining by themselves. Anyone, seating a guest should refrain from using these phrases.  Protocol demands that ALL guests be treated and seated, as if they are V.I.P's (very important people).  That is the unwritten seating code! 

Maitre’d’s, hosts or hostesses are notorious for seating a lone guests at the worst table: near noisy serving station, next to the bathrooms, drafty entrance ways, tight isles, or squeezed into a dark corner. This happens for the convenience of the house, and not the guest.  It isn’t supposed to work that way. 

Waiting fifteen minutes or longer for a server to call on their table, because they assume a lone guest is waiting for someone else just doesn’t make sense.  Wouldn’t you offer any seated guest a beverage?  I don’t understand this unnecessary dilemma.  If there is only one place setting on the table – isn’t it obvious?  These are all glaring-bold-red-flag-signals to staff, that only one person is eating.  Servers must pay closer attention to reading the guests unspoken body language.  Keeping in mind that no one wants to begin their dining experience with aggravation as their starter. 

When I am instructing staff on, “Seating the Guest”, and welcoming has been initiated, all guests (lone or otherwise) should be greeted with a warm sincere and genuine smile. 

If a guest enters the establishment alone, it can be safely assumed they are eating alone.  Ask if they wish to sit at the bar or prefer a table. The host may begin escorting a lone guest to a table, accommodating ladies by pulling out their chair and begin by removing extra place settings.  At this point a guest will most always offer information as to whether they are waiting on others. 

An experienced and savvy seating host makes sure that "visual assumptions" have already been satisfied FIRST, if guests require special seating: 

Visual Assumption Clues:

  • Handicapped or service dog.  The table needs to be easily accessible. 
  • If they require a quiet corner to work on their laptop or spreadsheets, they may need an electrical outlet and possibly more table room.  Clue: They will be carrying their laptop and set it on the table.
  • Brighter lighting for reading.  Clue: They are carrying reading material, books, magazines or newspapers.
  • Guests with carry-on luggage.  Clue: Guests always want to be within close proximity to their luggage (practicing the, "never leave your luggage unattended" security rule).  

In the restaurant industry a seating host must deal with a cadre of different challenges: table rotations, reservations and availability, which is not always understood by guests (nor do they want to know) what those challenges are, all they want, is to eat and enjoy their meal.

The first and only obligation and duty of a seating host is simple, please the guest.

Consider subscribing and your comments are always welcomed.

(c) 2010 ptsaldari.posterous.com : PTsaldari Group Inc. | The Art of Serving Well | Serve Me Well Inc. All rights reserved. This article originally appeared on ptsaldari.posterous.com blog authored by PTsaldari.  This article may be shared and reprinted as long as this entire copyright message accompanies it. Email: ptsaldari@gmail.com

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Filed under  //   78% of Food Service is Word of Mouth Marketing   A Guest That Dines Alone   Seating a Guest   What not to say to a guest dining alone  

Comments (56)

Jan 02, 2010
Penelope Tsaldari liked this post.
Jan 03, 2010
enzozebo said...
The thing that I dont like about eating out alone is having a waiter ask me very loudly "Are you sure you can eat all this food by yourself?" and then having the guests stare at me as I eat. A tip for servers is to treat a guest eating alone as if it were your close friend. Dont make them feel uncomfortable!
Jan 04, 2010
Juls said...
Thank you for visiting me... and now, here I am! Interesting blog!
Jan 04, 2010
Maryam said...
When I was in US in my last visit I used to eat my lunch alone and what I didn't like that each time the waiter ask me table for two! while he/she knows that I'm alone. When I say no table for one, he/she would replay yes I know table for two. Is it that bad to eat alone? If this attitude in US so what about the other countries and cultures ?
Jan 04, 2010
Jorge said...
I truly congratulate you on this very objective and complete analysis, dining alone can be either a horrible or a memorable (positive) experience, and you exposed nothing but the truth.
Jan 04, 2010
I only wish I knew who you are so I could thank you personally for posting your comment.  Therefore I wish to than....you or rather "me".

Jan 04, 2010
joieduvivre said...
I agree with your article. When on business trips, I usually dine alone. After awhile I get annoyed with wait staff assuming that since I am dining alone, I want to be left alone. They provide service to the larger tables and forget about me because I am a smaller check.
Jan 04, 2010
Always, always register your issue on Yelp or Zagat.  I direct you to an extremely informative site on statistics which you may find helpful:  http://socialnomics.net/2009/08/11/statistics-show-social-media-is-bigger-than-you-think/  It is officially a "fact"  that 78% of consumers trust online peer recommendations, only 14% trust advertisements, only 18% of traditional TV campaigns generate a positive ROI.  

Your opinion counts so long as you share it.  I believe that management works under the guise of "see no evil, hear no evil"  that my friend is about to change.

Many thanks for your valuable imput... it counts!

Jan 04, 2010
TheCityTaste said...
Well said, We wished that all restaurants took this to heart!
Jan 04, 2010
Appreciate your comment very much.  Many thanks, PT
Jan 04, 2010
JodieMo said...
Followed your message from FBuzz. Thanks for the lovely comment.
I agree with your post here. Many single parties are asked if they would like to sit at the bar or a bar top so as not to take up a 6 top booth somewhere else. And while I can certainly understand the diner's problem with always being stuck in a corner or a small table, I would be willing to bet that that singleton would do exactly the same thing if he/she owned a restaurant where more butts in seats means more money in everyone's pocket. Of course, you can't tell them that. All you can do is smile, seat them at a nice table and give them great service.
Jan 04, 2010
Jodie, your appraisal is one of common sense that makes it good sense.  You are soooooooooooo right about walking in someone else's shoes especially if you are a customer first and then a restaurant owner.  Thank you for taking the time to give me such a quality comment. Many thanks, PT
Jan 05, 2010
Escape Into Splendor said...
I love the fresh perspective. Usually one comes across how-to manuals for patrons at restaurants but rarely for the staff. A wonderfully insightful read. I look forward to reading more! Cheers.
Jan 05, 2010
the real dish said...
A million thanks for eloquently addressing the issue of service at restaurants. It is often overlooked as most people focus on food and drink, I am guilty of this myself! However, service can make or break an restaurant experience; it is as equally important as the food.
Love your blog, can't wait to read more!
Jan 05, 2010
Thank you for commenting, much appreciated.  Your words ring clear.  It can very well make or break a diners enjoyment as well as the establishment.
PT
Jan 05, 2010
Kathy Orbe said...
Bravo!

Thank you for putting this how-to together for the server of someone dining alone.
Simply said, it should be required reading for all who own or work in the hospitality industry.

I often review restaurants and resorts so I notice a lot of situations that may go undetected by other guests.
Frequently diners are in this position either by choice or not.
Often, they are treated awkwardly because for some reason society seems to expect pairs or groups to dine together.
Dining solo is not the plague, but sometimes an extremely relaxing experience if you are eased in to the dining experience by a trained staff.

Your guide will be PRICELESS to any restaurant realizing that a trained staff is cultivated and does not pop out of a box knowing how to handle all customer scenarios.

Here is a topic for you-
Another uncomfortable situation for some diners is knowing what to do when their dining partner goes outside to smoke a cigarette. They may sit there for ten minutes or so with nothing to do except to look around or look at their cell phone. A perceptive server can ease the situation by stopping by if the guest looks uneasy. Perhaps to engage them in a little conversation by complimenting them on the food or wine they ordered or some other appropriate topic.

Cheers and write on! Kathy

Jan 05, 2010
Kathy,
Your comments are priceless!  Yes, I shall work something up on the "uncomfortable situation" mentioned.  I have a whole list of things a server (if they have time) can do without piercing the thin veil of privacy.  I thank you tenfold!
PT
Jan 05, 2010
Kathy Orbe said...
You are welcome P.

Any time! Kathy
Jan 06, 2010
What a great post! I'm glad you commented on foodbuzz and I could find your blog. Happy new year to you too :-D
Jan 06, 2010
Your reply and comment meant a great deal to me.  I wish to thank you very much for your time.  I respect how valuable it is.  Next week the article will be most interesting and I'm hoping you'll drop back in to read about it.
Take care,
PT
Jan 06, 2010
High/Low said...
Interesting article - I have only dined solo a few times myself but have found when I am not working, reading, or otherwise looking busy, I feel uncomfortable and feel expected to quickly eat and leave the table.
Jan 06, 2010
Many thanks High/Low for your comment.  This type of experience and insight is very valuable to study.  Because it is a genuine customer experience it holds the key in finding solutions. A guest, a paying customer is never suppose to feel as thought they must satisfy the house.  It's suppose to be the other way around.  Something made you feel that way... if it ever happens again, share this on Yelp or Zagat.  Share this as valuable insight to the restaurant where you ate.  They need this kind of information, that is the only way we can help things get better.
Many many thanks,
PT
Jan 06, 2010
LookyTasty said...
Interesting post! I dine alone sometimes and enjoy it. I usually bring entertainment with me though (laptop, book, gadgets, and sorts), otherwise I find myself staring around the restaurant or finding random reading material, like their menus or drink/dessert specials. Some places are a bit awkward to dine alone, either they kind of look at you funny or don't really pay too much attention from you. My guess is that since my party of one won't tip as much tip as a party of 2+, the waiters/servers would rather be done with me after they place my food down and spend their time with the other tables. Dining alone is not strange and I see other people doing it as well.
Jan 06, 2010
Dear LT,
Many thanks for sharing your comments with me, they provide insight and good information.  This next two years I anticipate fooderies will be hard hit by the hardest segment of the recession, therefore it is time for them to value the single lone diner.  We are about to enter into the twilight zone!

Thank you, I know how precious time is and value your comments.
Take care, 
PT

Jan 07, 2010
Tania said...
This post is very interesting as your blog! I love it beacuse it's very useful and...tasty!
Jan 07, 2010
Claudia said...
I always enjoy an occasional eat-out alone. In my NYC days, I frequently did. I can focus on food and my thoughts! Interesting post!
Jan 07, 2010
Ozan Karacagil said...
In my opinion, it is all about the first impression. When I enter a restaurant and don't receive a warm welcome, the restaurant loses points in my eyes immediately. The food has to be way beyond my expectations for me to go there again or talk about it positively. When it comes to dining, it is all about the total package and all the elements need to work in harmony; the food, the atmosphere and the greeting irregardless of party size.
Jan 07, 2010
Thank you very much for taking the time to comment.  While first impressions linger, each and every moment thereafter a restaurant wins and or looses points as you well said.  Doesn't make much sense to make a guest feel the least bit uncomfortable and yet this issue is a major complaint.  Personally, I pretty much ditto everything you said.   

Ozan, were you able to click into Bruce Buschels article published in the New York times and featured just below the blog you just read under "Burn't Toast.  The article received 1,890 comments, mostly from customers as to how they wish to be served.  It may be of possible interest.

Many thanks,
Wishing you a wonderful day,
PT

 
Jan 07, 2010
Sheri Austin said...
PT: Love your work. A fan of dining alone...ahh, silence, I agree that waitstaff recognition of this as a choice/treat, not a default, adds to the ocassion. I'm a big believer in the staying power of a first impression, and the ability of every touchpoint either confirming or challenging that impression. Restaurants can win consumers' repeat--and their love overtime--by adhering to the cues in your advice. Let's talk more about the power of waitstaff...I have an idea. sa
Jan 07, 2010
Dear Tania,
Your comments mean a great deal to me.  The blog has been very successful, reaching many interesting people like yourself who find it very useful.  Couldn't have done it without you.  If there is a subject you would like us to explore, I would enjoy hearing from you.

Thank you and please by all means, continue to chime in or subscribe, I post once a week.
Thank you again,
PT


Jan 07, 2010
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.  Every little bit counts towards getting service right.  I like maintaining my privacy and most always have something to read or write.
Cheers,
PT
Jan 07, 2010
Dear Sheri,
Thank you so very much for your wonderful response.  Yeah!  I love the silence too!  Waitstaff is going to be a huge issue with regards to customer satisfaction and I'm very pleased that we agree.  

Here is my email address so we can talk ptsaldari@gmail.com.  I'll be out of my office most of the day  till about 3PM,  after that I'd like to call you so we can chat and explore our collaboration.
Cheers,
PT
Jan 07, 2010
Caveman Cooking said...
Very well said, PT! Service in general is such a key part of a successful restaurant, and has certainly seemed to take a back seat in recent years to attitude and indifference. Stellar service always make everything taste just that much better.
Jan 07, 2010
Dear CC,
Your comment is much appreciated and validates the importance of providing stellar service.  Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment.
Cheers,
PT
Jan 08, 2010
I think bad service is bad service with one diner or more. Once I went to this café-trottoir with my sister and brother-in-law and after seating us, we nicely (i emphasize on the nicely part) asked for the table to be wiped again (we were outside and under a tree so it is normal for it to get dusty) and after wiping the table it was the last we saw of any waitress, who swarmed at the next table making convo with what obviously seemed people they knew. We ended up leaving after sitting there for 20 minutes or more. Imagine that this café was largely advertised.
Jan 09, 2010
Dear Viviane,
There is simply no excuse for servers behaving so badly.  Twenty minutes is a very long time to wait.  You were cheated out of your enjoyment, which you were prepared to pay for.  If they were my servers, I'd have them water-boarded!  As a shop owner I would want to know that these servers were killing  my business. 

I'm intrigued as to why you did not complain to management?  Please share this with me, it is very valuable research information.  My personal email is: ptsaldari@gmail.com.
Many thanks,
PT



Jan 11, 2010
Cherine said...
I never dined alone. I think I dread the waiters reactions.
Jan 11, 2010
Oh! How you made me laugh!  God bless you!  What a great chuckle that was indeed!  Smart girl!
PT


Jan 13, 2010
Great post. I love the visual cues - very practical advice for waitstaff. It's the simple things that make a difference with a dining experience and every customer is slightly different.
Jan 13, 2010
Dear Liz,
You are so right!  Thank you for your sincere comment.  Our blog focus includes select chef and food writer contributors, Silver Service serving techniques, creative serving ideas, and some extraordinary information for those who dine out.  We offer a behind the scene peek at how we promote a positive dining experience with our “Atticus Finch code of good work ethics“ as it relates to food dining.  If everyone did it right, you wouldn’t have to wipe down your cutlery, before you eat.  Please <o:p>consider subscribing to  http://ptsaldari.posterous.com/   </o:p>

Hope to see you back soon, 

PT & Gaby

Jan 16, 2010
amy said...
I love this post about lone diners. I go out alone often (when my other half has graduate school) and wish all hosts and servers would follow your "rules"!!!
Jan 16, 2010
Oh! Amy, thank you so much for this...  gratefully our blog has been warmly received since we don't just pitch to one audience.  Thank you so much and we hope you return again.
Stay well,
Cheers, PT
Jan 17, 2010
SharleneT said...
Excellent article. As a lone, reading, diner, it's very frustrating to always have to tell staff that I want a lighter area to sit in -- not one next to a noisy kitchen. I have even suggested they lower the price of dinner by 15% because of the noise factor. Keep up the good work.
Jan 17, 2010
Sharlene, I can't thank you enough for your feedback comment.  WOW!  I'm so glad you found a connection with the blog.  I've got some very interesting material scheduled and I hope you revisit me again.  Take care and thank you again for your comment.
Cheers, PT

Jan 30, 2010
fel said...
A good post (especially since I've been known to be a lone eater more often than not) - Hopefully more restaurants take your notes into consideration!
Jan 31, 2010
Dear fel,
I've received more emails on that post than you could ever imagine.  Thank you so much for stopping by to view with us.  I too wish more restaurants would take note, maybe soon they will.  Hope you return back to us for some more.
Cheers,
Pt & Gabriella
Feb 12, 2010
A common lone eater said...
When traveling alone as a female, I have 2 choices..eat in my room or eat in a restaurant. I love to eat in a restaurant and if traveling in North America, I must say, my experiences have been pleasurable.
It sound like you too, have traveled and shared your knowledge with the servers that I have met.....because you are right onand I have received the service that you describe. Thanks.
Feb 12, 2010
Dear Common Lone Eater,
This blog article is the most viewed!  amazing how many people connected with it.  Thank you for your lovely comment and we sincerely wish you safe and happy traveling.  Thank you for sharing and hopefully you will share some of your dining experiences with us in the future.
Take care,
PT & Gabriella

Feb 19, 2010
Comradechu said...
Loved the writeup, especially the visual assumption clues. I've dined alone more times than I care to count and the only other suggestion I'd add is for restaurateurs and wait-staff to try dining alone themselves. Waiting for a server or for your food can seem interminable and terrifically awkward, especially if you don't have any reading material or friendly diners around you (say at the bar) or wait-staff to chit-chat with. If restaurateurs have experienced that or some of the other unintentional digs you mentioned above, I feel like that they might show some more sensitivity in running their own restaurant.

Anyways, thanks for adding me on fb and for the comment, Gabriella. I really enjoy your on-point writing.

Feb 23, 2010
Dear Comradechu,
Thank you for your kind comment, so happy you found it of interest and it's always a good lesson for wait-staff to experience service from the other side of the table.  Our blog genre is focused on The Art of Serving Food & Drink Well.  Which pretty much requires feedback from food diners as well so we have a nice well rounded audience.  Hope you visit back with us again, we very much appreciated your comment.
Take care Comradechu,
Cheers,
Gabriella

Mar 04, 2010
bayuamus said...
It's interesting how you manage to notice all of those things. Keen observation, and useful insights, thank you for sharing.

Cheers,
Bayu - Epicurina

Mar 04, 2010
Dear Bayu ~ Epicurina,
Thank you for your comment and praise.  It's our job (more like a passion) to notice the little things that can make a meal more enjoyable.  We are very pleased that you visited with us and hope you will return again soon.
Many thanks,
PT & Gabriella. 
Mar 08, 2010
Kristen said...
This is a very interesting topic that hits home with me. As a former server, I never understood why people griped about solo diners. I saw it as a chance to either interact with an outgoing guest one-on-one or be respectful of an introverted diner. Either way, I got great tips and had return customers. Also, as a person who frequently travels and often eats alone, I can appreciate the consideration. Countless times I've been met with awkward "oh where can we put you??" attitudes and it's offensive. I'm not single now, but at the time, it felt like I was less important because I was dining alone.
I wish all servers had your attitude! Thanks for the post.
Mar 08, 2010
Dear Kristen, 
I am so happy you visited our blog.  We have a great many former servers that find a nice connection.  "When A Guest Dines Alone" is the all time favorite blog posting so far it has 3,917 and is the one most people really connect with.  Imagine what an impact it has for "lone diners"  Both Gaby and I wish to thank you so much for sharing your insight with us and we truly hope you revisit with us again soon.  We have lot's more coming up.
Warmest regards,
Take Care,
PT & Gabriella

Mar 25, 2010
FoodAprecianado said...
I enjoyed your perspective, and it's great advice. I wrote a blog on a former favorite in Oakland, and the entire experience was soured by the hostess. She ignored us for fifteen minutes and then chucked us at a table like so much soiled kitchen laundry. Ordinarily I'm very patient with staffing, but she was almost rude. No excuse. It's all part of the package.
Mar 26, 2010
Dear A,
Just went to your blog! Loved the writing, so talented.  Thank you for commenting on your Oakland experience.  Listening to others who have gone before us and "happened" upon a sour hostess is helpful.  You were far more patient than I would have been.  I think she qualifies as rude!  Anyway I'm happy that I read a well written blog! I look forward to reading more of you.
Take care & thank you,
Penelopi & Gabriella

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