When a Food Server Has to Have Heart
“If I only had a heart” ... the epic line from the Wizard of Oz. Compassion is the bread of life. Goodness, grace, kindness and respect is the soft spreadable butter and jam. One must have heart to serve the elderly, sick, obese, painfully unattractive or the handicapped with dignity.
The 20 year old hostess, with the perky nipples, the extra, extra short and extra extra tightly girthed skirt (I think that’s what it is, when she bends an eighth of an inch, I’ll be able to tell ya for sure.) The one who pretends to be coy by over accentuating the forward leaning position while distributing menus and naturally exposing a set of lushy holstered puppies, screaming like over ripe peaches, is all smiles and giggles as she delights in seating 4 wranglers with tight fitting jeans.
The obese and rather unattractive twin sisters who wear large puffy pink tulle headbands warrant nothing more than a disinterested glance. As regular patrons, they do get a menu slid across the table at them.
The same hostess, doesn’t know Mr. and Mrs. Bedrosian by name, even though they’ve been dining there every Sunday and Thursday for the past 2 years. They must still repeat, their request to be seated at the secluded corner table. Mrs. B doesn’t want to offend other guests. This way Mr. B can face the wall away from any onlookers. You see Mr. B suffers from throat cancer, he can only chew his food and not swallow. Meaning he has to tactfully extract his food by camouflaging it with a paper napkin. Sunday brunch is every Floridian food servers anathema. If you ask them why, they look at you, dazed and confused. The reason is simple. Seniors usually attend religious services early - taking their medication on an empty stomach. This makes them cross, impatient and abrupt. They need their beverage and food pronto... along with a batch of extra napkins. Knowing the reason why they behave this way, can certainly make serving them a hell of a lot easier. Connie a middle aged server, likes to wear an American flag pin on her lapel. She secretly chuckles as she watches Perky Nipples smile-lessly seat a four-top in her section. Ooouu yeah boy! "Get it on babe!" she proclaims to Perky Nipples, who shoots Connie a queer look - like "what’s up with the happy dance?" Doesn’t she know these vagabond looking “hillbillies” don’t tip? Connie welcomes them with a “howdy folks” as if she’s known them for years. She treats them like “solid gold”. Adapts her lingo and tenor to accommodate her guests. Smart, Connie speaks sweetly and respectfully. The hillbillies end up plunking down a nice 22% gratuity.The thirty-two year old combat veteran wearing 3 prosthetic limbs, pulls out the chair for his mum. The hostess stands mummified, penetrating him with a stare and dropped jaw. The soldier’s mum defiantly stares the hostess into a hasty retreat. At a high end seafood restaurant, I watch a mother wheel her severely handicapped child on a portable gurney. Everyone turns and stares. I get up, walk over and embrace her, whispering into her ear, “You are a champion - a saint.” She hugs me back, giving me a massive smile.Dealing with sundry apparatus; mobile scooters, portable respirators and walking aids is hardship enough for these guests to bear. Staring at someone can “hurt”. Gentle smiles, expressions of tenderness (without pity), or graciously pretending you didn’t notice, works well.One must remain mindful that individuals with physical anomalies; missing limbs or visual defects; like a cleft lip, burn victims, missing teeth or fingers, a stump are painfully aware of their differences. Studies confirmed that unattractiveness (uglies) are treated as social rejects, "pariahs". Unattractive people are indeed treated poorly. Staring and deliberately lowering the standard of service, or simply lacking sensitivity, is not only horrifically rude, it is an abomination. You don’t denigrate such people, you denigrate yourself by being uncouth. If you don’t know what “uncouth” means... look it up!
An 86 year old elderly man sits and waits like a little boy for Happy Birthday to be sung to him. He has waited all year for it! Instead he gets a group of waiters who sound like a flushing toilet. Rolling their eyes or singing happy birthday sarcastically with spanky voices and negative body language. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! We know you have other tables to serve. BUT we don’t serve tables. We serve PEOPLE!
When front line staff behaves in a disrespectful way it makes me want to strap them into an electric chair. Slam their porky pig feet into a bucket of hot molten lava, then joyfully pull the switch, while bursting into a rendition of “Get your head out of your arse”.
A heart comes as standard packaging, upon entering this world. Yet not everyone has one! Ignorance is NOT bliss! Remember, everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Make every effort to practice the Golden Rule; “Do onto others, as you would wish them to do unto you.” If you love your work, if you have "heart", then you're a prince/princess of a server. We applaud you.Serve your guests with grace and humility, by:- Treating EVERYONE you SERVE like gold! They are your guests!
- Go the extra mile to be sensitive to those with special needs by providing EXTRA attentiveness; extra napkins, check on them more frequently, and SMILE.
- Listen to their dietary restrictions! LISTEN - make note of them so that the kitchen knows too! Any delays in their food can cause issues.
- If they don’t eat their meal, ASK WHY?
- Don’t stare! Pretend you don’t notice anything different about them.
- Do NOT rush a person who stutters or has a speech defect.
- People with special needs do NOT want pity!!!
- Many elderly patrons are hard of hearing. Speak clearly and get closer, so they can hear you.
- Remember! You don’t know what life will dish out to YOU. The same shoe may end up on your foot.
- You will be a senior someday! No matter how mean or ornery they are, treat them with the utmost respect. Their age demands it.
- Members of our military, police officers, firefighters put their lives on the line for US, every single day of THEIR lives! If your foodery offers special discounts GIVE IT TO THEM - WITHOUT THEM HAVING TO ASK FOR IT!
We welcome your comments.
Thanking you & always grateful,
Pen & Gaby
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(c) 2010 ptsaldari.posterous.com : PTsaldari Group Inc. | The Art of Serving Well | Serve Me Well Inc. All rights reserved. This article originally appeared on ptsaldari.posterous.com blog authored by PTsaldari. This article may be shared and reprinted as long as this entire copyright message accompanies it. Email: ptsaldari@gmail.com
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